Iridescent.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

26th Feb:
went sch quite early . had silent reading lo . then had amaths lessons . but miss wee didnt come and teach us . she have course till wednesday bahs . did the amaths prelim book . then was biology . got back the test papers . only 26/40 . feeling utterly disappointed with myself .. and qns like wad am i doing ? did i really study ? why didnt i get a distinction ? in wad areas did i failed ? hais . i am disapponted with this results . my essays sucks ! JUST passed it . gt back eng paper during english lesson . i passed . junan passed and he was like laughing hysterically ? like a hyeena ? LOL . at least i wasnt so sad after tt . was recess . got back geography paper . expected tt i will get a borderline pass . didnt get back chinese paper . teacher not in sch . then was recess again . had physics then maths lessons again . and then chemistry . lessons are ok ? no idea ..

had cca after tt . didnt do much . they lost . hope they will cheer up soon .

27th Feb:
had bio spa . combined de . miss judith was talking for the whole 3 periods even though her gums were hurting . she was funny lo . then was chemistry . did the workbook . and then was english . were chatting with laopa and oh darling . i was laughing the whole period lo . every now and then . i am looking forward to english lesson =) gt back my paper during chinese lesson . didnt do well . or i can say the whole band 1 didnt really do well . i kinda of felt that it is unfair . the english and chinese papers are mark by the different band teachers . all gt different standard . hais . nvm . donno wad to say also . then was maths . did the emaths prelim book . recess . and then lcd lo . rs ram went through with us the o level stuff lo . then had assembly . gt performance . was chatting with faith the whole time . then went back for bio choice . jiahong went off lo . he didnt wait for mrs ram . she was late for about 30 mins . then she came and gave us other sch prelim paper and make a 'file' helped jiahong lo . after tt went for swimming . guess the bus today was late . then i heard 'chocolate , chocolate' again . lols . was tired lo . guess i slowed down alot . how am i going to take part in the competiton in july ? hais . reach scholl at 5+ and went to cwp . in the end mum told me no need to buy the yusheng thingy cos at home already got 2 lers . zzz . went home and saw 2 mahjong tables and so many ppl at my hse . serve and helped out lo . samantha came my hse after tt . we were very high lo . hahas . then clean up at 10+ . slept quite late .

am i really happy ? or am i deceiving myself once more ?

28th Feb:
went sch early today . helped samantha they all with their work . had silent reading . and then was mt . had the test . guess the qns are ste by mr toh ? cos he likes to set qns tt needs thinking and txtbk are not of much help some times . then was english . was chatting with laopa they all . had fun time laughing .. then was recess . was ss . but miss chee need tohelp out with the autodesk thingy then gt many principal come lo . then physics lessons . mr junus also went for the thing bahs . then the nie trainee teacher came and teach us . was feeling abit tired and almost the whole last row ppl slept . include me also . lols . then recess . sians . what is the pt of having 2 recess . zzz . . had chemistry . mr tan went through titration and did the workbook . still dont understand reduction and oxidation . hais . then was biology . quite interested in the microorganisms .. considering to specialise in tt ? went to canteen with jess .. then went to the bus with basketball 'b' boys . they having a match with sengkang sec . chatting with jess .. and mr ben keep asking we 2 come support who . LOLS . she support someone lo . i support everyone ^^ .. their match start lo . hmm . they lost .. saw my cousin . they lost to deyi sec . hais . i donno wad to do . there was silence in the bus . everyone was feeling tired . was raining heavily . zixin went off with marvin .. then someone with jess . then terance accompany me .. thanks =) was feeling ok bcos was feeling kinda of very down on the bus . at least i controlled my emotions if not i guess i have burst into tears on the bus . walk to vista .. terance pass me his uniform . i was trembling and feeling cold . thanks ! was coughing the whole time . wad to do ? hais . went to basic point to buy pencil lead . junan and desheng went to eat lo . terance accompany to bus stop . his uniform was wet lers . took 900 instead of 962 lo . he acc me to wait for the bus . thanks alot =) he went back when the bus came . then went to admiralty to buy dinner for sis and walked home . raining . hais . watched tv and now blogging lers . chat with junan .. hais .. she will understand de . feeling tired and abit feverish . nites **

hope that they will be okay soon especially laopa , oh darling , alex darling .. especially oh darling . he like completely demoralised . although he do not want anyone to worry .. but i worry alot . feeling so useless . i cant help them with anything .. as i talk to him . i really feel like crying .. he is a great guy . u worked very hard lers . i saw u being pushed and stuff . u are badly hurt . be it physically or mantally . i know u break ur promise to her . but she will understand . it seems to me that u lost ur smile .. it's easy to say . but not easy to do it . these few days .. let urself relax .. dont think so much . same goes to my laopa and alex darling .. thanks terance for accompanying me . it is a promise that i will not cry ..

♥ 9:27 PM

Saturday, February 24, 2007

23rd Feb :
did nth much . got back my results for both maths . didnt do well .. had dips and relay during pe lesson . eng lesson was boring . helped jason with ss .. didnt go for the retest and i went to fabian hse first lo . then ppl came at different times lo . went down with fabian cos i wanna see his sister lo . then went up . saw him . didnt have the mood to play and i wrote my diary . joseph and jordan want to see but no permission granted . lols . the rain came lo . specially for me . sinyee they all came . feeling abit happier tt sinyee they all came as all were guys before th ey came and i was kinda of down with no one talk to me . talked to sinyee and rain chanced upon me . hais . thanks sinyee :) for lending me ur shoulder and ears .
sad .. alex didnt lend me his lo . LOL .
went back at about 5+ . my knee hurts . guess is bcos of the pe lesson bahs .
emo-ing bahs . dont feel like writing .

24th Feb:
today woke up quite late . watched tv and asked sis to buy breakfast . she bought kfc . zz . i ate abit and gave her the rest . wasnt having a good appetite . watched tv and fell asleep at about 11+ . slept till about 3+ . then my other sis fell asleep . only my youngest sis is in front of the computer the whole time . woke up just to watch the 5566 show and prince turn into frog . bath and went to buy dinner . sians . dont want to watch tv and i read my book . from 7.45 till about 9.15 . hahas . and i finish the book lers . Just Friends . a nice book .
this was the very last paragraph of the book :
he reached for her hand , holding it as if he would never let go , & flipped down the seat to draw her close . his eyes smiled into hers . "i've been saving it for u," he said .
the 2 characters found each other and realised each other's presence after so long . they were Just Friends . it is a nice novel .

when will i ever find tt guy .. waiting and waiting . life is so different for each individual . why can some lived so happily while some cant . it just seems tt it depend on each individual . why can some still put on smiles when they are not smiling in reality . kim and i are so tired lers . and it appears tt we both seem to have the same problem . sadness fill our minds . besides tired . we are still tired . it just seems tt it haven change . any time we are gonna break down . we just need that 'SPECIAL ONE' by us . but the 'SPECIAL ONE' never appeared and causing us to be so called ' tormented ' .

♥ 10:08 PM

Thursday, February 22, 2007

went to sch early today . sians . went back to class to do the qns which i donno . i did my homework ytd . hahas . then kangshen and fooktak came . had silent reading and then massrun . me , carrine , sherry and joanne were the first few . huimin was the first . the 4 of us just want to see how fast we run . i am slow . donno how am i suppose to run the 400m . hais .then was physics . didnt pay attention and mr junus called me and i was startled by him lo . my mind wasnt in the classroom . then was maths . feeling sleepy bahs .. thent . did nth much .. was break . went to canteen with yipeen , jess and faith . hahas . chatting lo . then yipeen 'massage' my blueblack lo . i was laughing non-stop .. LOL . she say this is the first time someone can laugh and feel pain at the same time . hahas . then was chem spa . the reaction very slow . donno how many times i do . but my results was different from fabian & cheongseng de . nvm lo . just fake fake some results . went back to class and was ss .. feeling sleepy .. ZZZ .. then donno why kangshen and fooktak calculate how much they need to earn . when they having children and blablabla~ then yipeen 'massage' my blueblack again . it hurts lo .. kangshen say bingbing bully bingbing .. hahas . went to hall and chat with fabian they all . had joseph's phone with me . was watching the video . jordan adn joseph so cute .. then was maths . i was falling asleep . then english . i dislike the teacher . now i can understand why the band students dont like her . she was at there scolding and scolding like tt . hais . her comment wrote can do better . last minute then think of tt de lo . did nth much for bio lesson . just went through the ans .. no eng enrichment course . kim emo-ing the whloe day . i donno wad to do . i most of the time dont emo in school . bcos it is pathetic . me and kim went to canteen lo . she didnt want to say anything . ask her to write in my 'deathnote' book . it is also a book where i record how i feel and memories . it sort of reveal my true self . the things i wrote was never happy till now . she was really sad . very scared that her tears welled up in her eyes . hope tt she will be ok soon . matthew kor and fooktak came . they redo the camp thingy . helped them lo . but didnt help much =/ went to computer lab with matthew and fooktak lo . saw alex they all . he so serious lo . hahas . then helped miss chee with her chair thing . kim sit on the chair then i push her lo .. hahas . then chat with miss chee also =)) went to take chocolates from isaac .. then went home . walked until outside school and rain .. then we 2 run back to school lers . hahas . waited for adeline . and went back lers . kim want tell alex smth de but then marvin was with him the whole time .. zzz . alex took off his specs .. is shuai de lors .. LOL . hahas . took bus home . saw my junior . recognised him when i hear him saying "chocolate , chocolate " . kim say i gt a cute junior . hahas . then we chat about loads of stuff . i will consider about tt =D went home and watched tv . sians . today no homework . feeling bored . alex darling is great =) hmm . dont take tt so seriously . cos she has someone in mind lers . concentrate on ur basketball and studies .. must jiayou ^^ take care .. today is a rainy day for me ?

feeling tired & happy . i finally confirmed it lers . thanks alex =) tt matter wont be bothering me any longer . feeling so empty . do not know wad am i thinking . just want to concentrate on my studies and swimming and nth else . dont want any other thing to disturb me or anything tt will hurt me . jiayou alexdarling and junan .. smiles**

♥ 8:40 PM

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

today didnt meet cherie they all again . went to canteen and do my physics homework lers . went to parade square and chat .. then silent readin and mt lesson . was test . expected .. didnt write much . was feeling tired lo . then english . i dont like the teacher bahs .. =(( was break . went with ade and cherie . as normal we talk many things lo . then we got new names . lols .. then went back to class . gt back ss paper . didnt do well . hais . gt a feeling tt i wont do well in my o lvls . hais . then was physics . mr junus came in and asked whether we are ready for the o lvls anot . we didnt do well for the common test . feeling real demoralised lers . so he was at there saying . the thought of it sends shudders .. then was break and was chemistry . i was feeling very disappointed with the results . how could i be so stupid not to check my paper when i still gt alot of time onm the day i took the test . and i lost marks due to careless mistakes . hais . how am i supposed to do well like tt . as normal alex did well . ytd still tell me he read the things that he think will come out .. he is just born clever bahs in my opinion . zz .... was bio . bio workbook at home . sians . then helped matthew do . discuss with matthew and fook tak lo . hahas . sinyee say we very cute .. cos of the ans . then fook tak sometimes very stubborn lo . me also . keep insisting the ans correct . then matthew very HIGH lo .. keep sayiing wad dont live in ur fear or smth . from the movie ghostrider . me and fooktak cannot stand him lo . he too HIGH lers . kangshen went to print workbook . he print wrong lo . he go print the whole book . zz . then end lesson and me , ade , cherie , alan went to library . went to do homework and went off at 4+ to vista . ate and bought bbt . walked home . we were chatting and crapping . dont want to elaborate on tt cos i think we very the weird say tt . hahas .. went home and watched tv . just bath and did my bio homework . now blogging lo . going to sleep soon . very tired . just need a long rest ..

if i am given a choice to forget everything and start everything anew . i do not know which will i choose . forgetting the sad ones will be good . but the happy ones .. hmm .. if choose not to forget then i will be emo-ing and sad . i donno . everything is in a mess . i wonder how am ever going to clean up the mess . waiting for him .. will he ever help me ?

hope tt junan will be okays soon . u always dont want me to be sad .. now i dont want u to be sad . i understand u held them lng . even though u are smiling . but in actual fact u are not . it's alright . take things slowly =)) easy to say but hard to do it =x think alex also abit sad sad like tt . hope he will be smiling every now and then =) alex is great =)

♥ 9:56 PM

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

forgot to upload the pics .. lols . jus managed to upload them =)

ray yi with my cat ; ray yi with my pooh ; ray yi

minghui,mingjin,xueyun,me ; vincent and me ; jinhui ; vincent and me

haven upload 1 image tt i secrretly take de .. hahas .. gt alex and terance but only their backvews . sobs ..

♥ 11:50 PM

18th Feb:
woke up at 8+ today . had breakfast and went out lers . mrt-ed to bedok . was abit sian . but i listened to songs . time pass very quickly den .then wishes and stuff lo .. then went to other relatives hse also .. then lastly to my mum's cousin hse . at there at first very sian . i sit at the doorside sing song . hahas . then slowly migrate to the stairs . then my cousin came . we went down and we told others we were 'dating' .. hahas . then went back and play games . played with them also . they are lame lo . gave everyone a card . the one who gt highest or lowest point must drink then beer . each time they choose . zzz . then they pour so much in the cup . then i at 1 go finish ler . carlsberg isnt nice .. and heineken too . so suay lo me .. dont understand why still gt ppl like to drink . but heineken is better . but the gas hor .. very de .. it is smelly de lo .. hahas . then vincent drink . then his face turn red .. hahas . then we took pictures .. went home at about 10 . then quickly went to find shishan lo . run with my legs hurting . i wasnt really used to wearing heels to run . =x then he at his fren hse . zzz . then went to samantha hse . hahas . then saw the guy whom they say he like me . LOL .. then went home at to bath and went down to her hse . and went up to my hse and down to her hse again . called ronnie to come .. then played cards . was laughing the whole time with his jokes . he say we crazy . cos he didnt even laugh .. hahas . then went home at 3+ in the dawn cos need to wake up early next day ..

bio lesson : after drinking the face will become red is bcos of the liver working harder to break down the molecules .. hahas . not very detailed though . just a summary . this marks the end of miss SEEsotong bio lesson . LOL . i am crapping =x

19th Feb:
woke up quite early just to make jelly . then they all came at 11+ like tt .. then more ppl came lo . was busy helping my mum with cooking and preparing of dishes ; serving ppl . the ray yi finally came . i missed him~ then took pictures of him .. hahas . then played games and i went out at 2+ to take disc from adeline to return to my cousin . then went back and it was raining . thought of many things again . zz .. then played with the kids . then went to samantha hse and did make food and we are back to my hse to serve the ppl . then they went back at 3+ like tat . different ppl went home at different time . i went out at about 6 to meet michael , gavin and chonglin under my hse . they came to pick up . i forgot to bring my orange =x went home to take and went off with them . were the first to reach . then chonglin dad is the uncle in school . hahas . then his mum frens came . aaron , wai ting , jiaping and jieshi came too . then played cards .. then jeremy came . eugene was the very late one . i helped chonglin to win lo .. hahas . cos the cards he want always get . but sometimes i demoralised cos i help him lose . then donno gt wad things in the plate and and use chopsticks and donno do wad . didnt do tt much . then they played cards again . went home at 11+ .. watched tv and went to sleep ler .

i was like a princess whenever i am with them . they took care of me .. making sure i was happy every minute . although they lose money when they play the game bcos i 'hai' them . they never mind . instead say i happy jiu can lers . thanks kor !!

today no bio lesson ..

20th Feb:
woke up at 9+ today . feeling tired . watched tv and ate . going to meet the rest at woodlands interchange later to go cheongseng hse . then i watched the hanakimi special variety show .. nice lo .. but i had to go off at 2.15 like tt to meet the rest at 2.30pm . then meet up with kimkim . walked to cheongseng hse . chit-chat lo . hahas . reached and cheongseng not at home . he was at his coach hse . zzz . about 10 of us at there . but the host not at home . waited for him to come back . chit-chat with fabian . then he finally came back . with alex , junan , terance and marvin . wow .. the 3 of them wear the long sleeve de shirt . terance de same as fabian cos tt time i help him to choose .. lols . but alex darling the most SHUAI lers !! he so handsome lo .. didnt wear spectacles . seriously he look better without his specs . and terance and oh darling also =)) they are so great .. but then alex wear his specs when we played cards . junan de dealer . he lose .. hahas . me and kim play together then share the profit together lo . then we went off and decide where to go at the playground there . went to causeway cos most of them go watch movie by andy lau .. then left me me , kim , liling , zixin , terance , alex , junan and marvin lo . then we decide to watch movie lo . didnt go out with chonglin lo . he with shishan .. but nvm .. cos alex more shuai !! hahas . watched ghostrider .. the show at 7.50pm . and the time when we buy tickets was about 5+ . went to long john silver cos they want to eat . in the end like no one wants to eat . then me , liling , terance , alex and junan went to mac . help them buy and serve them lo . must thank me hor .. hahas . then we were crapping at there . we laern different languages of some words .. then junan was so funny . he create some words lo . although he was smiling .. i know he isnt in his heart . cos he was emo-ing jus now . but at least he laugh and we had fun . but then terance donno why so quiet . but in the end he also gt crap with up abit bahs . then kim came .. continued crapping .. watashiwa QQ junan des . hahas .. nice~ think tt is spell like tt . we left at about 7 . junan went off . he didnt watch movie with us . then we went to causeway and walk walk . kim also emo-ing . so she need time alone . left 4 ppl . then went to arcade and up to wait for zixin and marvin . was 7.50pm . went in and sit with alex and kim . qute nice lo .. the show .. hahas . but sometimes abit scary bcos is like suddenly de . hahas . alex very ke lian . LOL .. not purposely de .. sorry =) then we also gt chat .. hahas . show ends at 9.35 like tt bahs . i not sure .. reached home at 10+ ... then michael and chonglin came and pass me lollipop cos i just now emo .. they said hi to my mum and went off lers . now blogging and gonna sleep soon .. smiles*

although tears came but it's alright . bcos i learnt smth . and the tears are worthless . bcos it just suddenly came . but it's never bcos of anyone . no one else except my family are worth my tears or not even them . i am happy that i have let go .. bcos i found out smth ..

♥ 11:39 PM

Saturday, February 17, 2007

today woke up at about 6+ lo . tired . went to the cemetary there if u say so bahs . taxi-ed there . and i cried . no one notice . hais . dont ask why bahs . just let me be that way for this while . went home at 9+ den . bought loads of stuff lo . make many trips . zzz . reached home and i fell asleep . then woke up again and do ironing for everyone's clothes . cleanup and stuff . guess we are not going out den .. hais . watched tv . quite nice lo . hahas . then watch the 5566 show shao nian te gong dui .. very nice . and funny . then watched the 183 club show .. the prince turn into frog .. very nice !! did i get the name wrong ? =x msged jaslyn .. stay happy .. and adeline too . cherie new year wish is for me and adeline to find our real smile . i hope to fulfill all the wishes which seems so simple to many . just smile . but it seems so hard . donno lers . feeling damn tired now . hais .. aunt came and had reunion dinner . i just kept eating the chilli .. not normal chilli de lor . then was like very hot and burning my tongue .. but i ate more and more . donno why .. hais . suppose smth is wrong with me . after tt watched tv . and i like tt song alot .. now my blog song .. wo ke yi .. nice~ now blogging and doing nth . feeling tired .

dont ask why lers . i am able to comfort others not myself . at the point when i want to cry most .. i am unable to cry . at the point when i do not want to cry . tears just came . flooding .. stress causes fatigue . tt is the long term effect . why am i feeling so down when many others are enjoying themselves away . love turns into hatred . hais . i donno wad i am thinking . so dont bother to ask me .

♥ 8:46 PM

Friday, February 16, 2007

today went to school with samantha . was tired . ytd revise amaths till 11+ lo . went to class and did revision . then kangshen and matthew kor came . they helped me . thanks ! then wento down to parade square and found out i didnt bring my thermometer .. run back to take and find kangshen de . hahas . had silent reading and went back to class for test lo . then did physics planning and was emaths . then pe lessons . almost half the class gone . played captain ball . only 8 girls lo .. zz . then isaac pass me the chocolates .. thanks my beloved granson =) went to canteen and we waited for the whole class and went to hall lo . the concert was so so lo . we all very sian . chit-chat with fabian . finally ended . accompany fabian back to class and take bag . then went his house . his sister so cute . she is called vicky . she so cute lo .. i like her alot =)

feeling so guilty tt i ps adeline and cherie

met up with jiahong and went to causeway point .. went to shop for fabian clothes . no one accompany him go bugis .. then we 2 acc him go cwp lo . me and jiahong help ask and help him to find . we were at the 2nd floor most of the time lor . hahas . in the end i chose 1 top for him .. gt collar and button . think fabian will look very nice if e wears it . jiahong also want to buy something like tt . i left at about 3 to go home and help mum fot buying of stuff . carry until my hand pain . went home . i trip over a wire , hit the table and hit a chair . and my toe bleed . it seems tt my toe nail is dropping . disgusting lo . then very pain lo . hahas . then i walk like donno wad . just pain bahs . went out with sis lo . bought mac . went home at about 9+ lo . lazy to write nowadays . all i noe is my toe is in pain .

hais . feeling so stressed . in bio , stress causes fatigue and i am really feeling tired . putting on a fake smile is tiring . guess many know tt i am smiling but not the real one . i didnt know tt ppl notice till my darling tell me . hais . i also want to be happy . but donno why i cant be happy . i touched my hands . and i asked . am i really xuebing ? or am i a living dead corpse of xuebing . how do i really feel ? i have no idea . many wants me to happy . so i smile just not to let them wry . all these make me tired . the stress , burden and responsibilities and others are so suffocating . but sometimes i thought . should i be happy ? bcos now i am able to sleep in 20 mins after i lie on my bed while last time i take 1 hr . should i be thankful tt i am tired ? or should i regret . i just want to fall into a deep slumber now .

♥ 11:11 PM

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !! =))

so long didnt blog lers .. lols . i am lazy and been busy with my studying of common test .. grrr .. study also pointless . i dont seem to think tt i will do well .. today went to help matthew buy chocolates and off to school . he gave me hershey chocolates .. reached school and revise for ss and physics . i dont have any confidence anyways . then i gt my first valentine present from kangshen .. cadbury de .. he is great .. then he also give zixin cos she tt time say 'ting zhe you fen' .. lol .

my first valentine present is from kangshen =))

then went down to assemble and had silent reading .. then was chinese .. joey also gt chocolates

got test .. i there blur lo .. then was english .. i gave kangshen the chocolate first .. he is sweet~ then went to e2 for eng . sians .. then was break . stayed in class and revise .. then was ss . miss chee revise with us and then physics .. didnt revise but JUNUS says we are 1 week behind . hais .. then break .. i was revising .. and eating chocolates .. kimkim and shulin bake cookies themselves :)

then was test . think i CANNOT MAKE IT LERS . i donno how to do lo .. then had maths choice and went off to library to help out .. quite fun ^^ me and terance half-half the chocolate .. so sweet~ lols . after tt went home .. msged kor and many ppl .. hahas .. then i went to cwp to look for him to take present ..

it's cute^^

then went to admiral garden and meet up with adeline and cherie .. ade very hyper-active .. i study amaths .. then cherie at there listen songs .. then also crap around .. then she gave us valentine present .. A LOLLIPOP . LOLS . she is nice~ it is the last present i received on valentine's day . then i play 'skate-thingy' . very de scary =x .. cherie also tried .. hahas . went to admiralty and bought blue-tack and strepsils .. and reached home at 10+ in the dusk .. hahas .

A BIG THANKS YOU TO MATTHEW , KANGSHEN , FABIAN , TERANCE , JIAHAO AND CHERIE ^^ although teranc eand fabian didnt really give but gt dove chocolates from them =)

i thought i would be sad and emo today .. but i didnt .. in fact i enjoyed myself .. sry to make u guys worry yesterday .. i wad just suppressing too much things ytd and could not take control of my tears when i wrote the diary . i wrote many in the death-notebook .. sorry to make u guys wry .. i am happy today .. now i know how fortunate i am to have so many ppl loving me , caring for me at all times .. u guys are great :)

♥ 11:06 PM

Sunday, February 11, 2007

9th feb:
met cherie and adeline today .. went back to class to touch up abit on the geography grpwork although i do it alone .. hahas .. nvm . think they are busy bahs .. chit-chatted with jordan they all .. then went down .. had silent reading . and then was physics spa .. yeah !! proud to say tt i did better than the previous times . i am able to draw out the table my own , carrying the experiment and handing the work on time .. i was so happy with myself .. i need to maintain this .. hahas .. then was emaths .. miss wee say she today dont feel like teaching .. then she start telling how her day didnt go well . then was PE . had 3 runs . actually was 2 rounds and squats but we dont want squats .. hahas . then run lo .. gt times when me , ZHUwenhui , my beloved carrine and sherry run together , gt one rhythm de . like we are all running at the same pace , and together . hahas . then shotput lo . after tt was break lers . went back to class . chit-chat awhile and i went to canteen . ate and went back . then was eng lesson . changed module lers . so now is mdm saratha . very de sians lo . hahas . i didnt do wrok . i play sudoku with my beloved . hahas . ended lesson . so happy lo . hahas . cos it was boring . went back to class . thinking of whether should i take my bks home anot . in the end took abit . donno wad matthew kor did . the cupboard like collapse ? hahas . me , fooktak and fabian played cards . lols . then many ppl left . left only the 3 of us . we continued playing cards . but got forfeit . TRUTH OF DARE . lols . hahas . many times fooktak lose lo . then he wad bullied by me and fabian . gt 1 very hilarious . but i dont think i should elaborate . lols . liling was with us but left awhile .. we played till about 2+ like tt . me and fabian dont want see the results so we went back first . then we walked to vista and chatted about loads of stuff . dont hink so much .. u are great :) then walked to bus-stop and i found my wallet GONE . hais . so panicked lors . called xuanwei and he helped me .. thanks =)) then i went to take my wallet from him and walked back to bus-stop again . then my geography paper was GONE .. hais . but then xuanwei gt help me find .. thanks .. hahas . he is great too :) went home .. did housework and went to marsiling . hahas . then went to look for jiahao they all lo . went home at 10+ .. was abit down . slept at 12+ . i was tired .

10th feb:
today wake up early in the morning thinking that i was late .. quickly bath and changed and i rushed to the bus-stop . and i found out meet at sch at 8.30am . they say 8 .. zz nvm . reached school . went to chit-chat with fabian they all . and the word 'audition' keep appearing for these few days . donno why . nvm . went to hall and assemble . and we went off to the respective blocks ler . 517-532 .. wow . wonder how am i supposed to comb all the blocks . then gt sec 1 with us . so we gt heavier responsiblity . we were divided into half . gt me , kim , liling , weiqi , jane , kangshen . matthew , chia ming and jordan + 5 sec 1 . the first block 517 gt tons of stuff lo . just the 1st block and i am tired . me was like the newspaper woman .. packed the newspaper and loading it onto the truck . kim was the string woman . having all the strings around her . liling was like the newspaper woman . she pack newspaper . the guys were the stronger ppl so did the loading and carring of stuff . hahas . the rest went to 518 while me and matthew kor kor stayed and wait for the truck . hahas . chit-chat .. then also the same for blk 518 , 519 , 520 and 521 . he so good . i sit on the trolley . he pushed me from block to block and go up the storeys . guess the worst is 521 . got 1 household at 11 floor gt so many newspaper . me and liling was so tired . then our hands were dirty . gt 1 resident gave up a drink but not cold .. zz . packed the stuff . and i went to other storeys to pack and finally the storey 1 . so many lor . and the time was like going to be 2pm . still gt 3 blocks . then no choice .. miss shuli ask the rest to go to the other 3 blocks . left me and kor again . i did the packing lo . tie the newspaper . then gt student helper . but teacher asked them go help those at 530-532 . the tv set was big .. hahas . so carry all the stuff to one side and wait for the truck to come . so sian lo . then we chat .. adeline has reached home lers . and yet i still at 1 place . hais . nvm .. finally the truck came so carried all the newwspaper up to the truck . then asked the uncle drive us to block 529 cos the rest at there . reached there and gt many stuff too . after tt we were dismissed . asked SEE matthew to carry my bag . i am tired . then we all went to cwp to eat . couldnt finish my food and SEE matthew say i must eat more . hahas . saw michael they all at cwp also . kim went off to bushan there to look for elaine they all . and we went back home lers . didnt rest lo . did housework and clean my tables and everything . changed and i went to meet alan at 5+ . went to bugis . he bought a bag . i went to buy jeans and a belt . walked around .. and chat too . ade and cherie were abit late . when they came .. we were going home soon at 8+ . took mrt back .. at the traffic light .. WE SAW ADRIANO . OMG .. HE SO CUTE . lols . then we were crapping .. hahas . they alight at woodland while i went to marsiling to buy a pair of shoes .. rushed there and quickly buy lo cos i still need go bball court . bought the shoes and went to look for mum just to say hi and i am off to the the mrt station . went to 717 bball court . saw randy they all . but michael they all not at there . they at admiral garden de bball court . i was dying . then they were with dorissa they all . i abit emo again . hahas . went there awhile . and the words 'audition' and 'campus superstar' keep appearing . zz . went to mac and saw randy they all again . chat with them .. hahas . and i went home . tried on the clothes and my sis say i look ugly . sad lo .. hais . asked my dad and mum . they say ok . i donno lars . feeling lost . tired . going to slp soon . dont feel like revising for commontest and doing my homework now . write till here lers . nites . smiles*

i had real fun today . matthew kor kor the best . hahas . although today was tired after all the walking and carrying and stuff but i believe this is one of the happiest time i had after so long .. guess i am out of tt place =) kimkim .. i did think of accept but i donno lehs . i feel that there is too many stuff that i had to take into considerations first . jaslyn was in the same grp as us . but we were divided and she was with pk .. donno whether she know me anot .. lols .

♥ 12:38 AM

Thursday, February 08, 2007

today meet up with ade and cherie as usual .. went back to class . joseph want to change place with me . i dont want .. lols . then went to parade suare . kim brought a snack tt she and her mum made .. was crapping with xinyi they all .. hahas . had silent reading . me and xinyi still gt crap lo . then was mass run . motivating kim to run again .. hahas .. then was maths . miss wee ask ppl do qns .. then they pass the marker around .. then she ask me qns i donno lor . nt paying attention .. thanks to jiahong and kangshen ! they helped me =)) then went for photo taking . i looked so ugly lors . hais . then was chinese . no lessons cos mr toh also need to leave early for photo-taking . he continued with his stories .. then he left .. played cards with kangshen they all till 10 like tt . went to canteen with them . he buy sandwich for me . thanks ! today i am with the gang of joseph .. lols . then we went to parade there . cos the teachers all were taking photos . wait for mr tan . then had chem spa . did the experiment .. i like titration . but i dont like the calculation .. then was social studies ler .i failed my test .. hais . first time i fail .. feeling utterly disappontied with myself .. then was break . stayed in the classroom . i was emo-ing once more . hais . went to hall there assemble . chit-chat with terance and fabian . then fabian say smth .. terance tell him he say wrong things . then he thought and apologise .. it's alright .. it dont really hurt much . i have learnt to let go like wad my dear liling say .. sometimes letting go will be better for us . then was physics . mr junus ask wad kind of arrangement is this . i find it weird too though . but nvm .. hahas . i finally get to sit at the back lors .. was going to fall asleep any minute . then english was boring . jiahong was gone . he nt in class . donno where he go .. then bio . no lessons . mrs ram was arranging the tables . it is getting worse ? maybe . look so weird .. then had the enrichment course . me and zixin gt cheat .. i say she gt 5 .. then she gt the 2 pineapple biscuits bahs .. me and her ate 1 .. hahas . we 2 want to lose weight cannot resist temptations . lols . then it ended lers . i took matthew uniform and wear . he say i am professor SEExuebing .. lols . he , fooktak laugh and me . i went to toilet and see . on my way .. everyone was asking whose uni i am wearing . hahas . fun ehs .. but it was real big lo .. i look weird in it . i had enough fun then i return the uni back to him .. then chat wit them for awhile and they asked me about the auditions again .. why u all want me go sing anyways .. hahas . terance also gt ask . zz . went to canteen with kim . ate abit and did my geo grpwork . hmm although is grpwork but i do it lo .. hahas . then i asked fooktak and matthew . they so good ehs . they went up to classroom take the paper but it is with kangshen .. zz . then fooktak helped me write . me gt helped matthew with the planning of their camp lo .. hahas . i gt give suggestions .. then matt ask why i dont want go auditions .. lols .. u all want hear me sing so much ? then i continue with my bio work lers . they donno go where .. after 45 mins later then see them .. they go the hill there .. hahas . they gt listen my suggestions bahs .. lols . i also walk at there at nite although it is scary .. ade came and went off at 5+ . chit-chat lo .. hahas . walk to admiralty . bought dinner for sis and went home . mum say it is sis bdae . i completely forget about it .. hahas . then watched tv . so nice~ situ bi so nice ~ hahas =x then called michael at 7+ . he asked me to call .. zzz . my sis was also on phone with someone else .. hahas . so i did geogarphy work + listening to songs + on the phone lo . i multi-task . took my sec 1 and 2 geog txtbk + last yr ss txtbk . i am making use of resourses . but still gt abit donno how to fill .. =) then my youngest sis came back . we like quarrel . michale was laughing and laughing at us .. he say he want to come my hse bcos very fun .. hahas . i was crapping with him lo .. talked for about 2 hrs like tt and now blogging . tired .. gonna slp soon .. nites . smiles*

OH darling , alex darling and terance must take care hor .. dont tire urself .. u gt basketball match and training . next week is common test week .. do take care . u guys are great :) u will always be my super number 1 =) oh darling .. i will try to be happy de . dont wry so much .. i have get over it ler . i have let go just like ade .. i am not going to wait . cos someone is waiting ..

♥ 11:04 PM

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

today was okays ? i donno . hais . the wound near my lips still haven heal . so ugly lo . mum going to buy a new phone for me and herself . hahas . michael called me . but i was fast asleep . hahas . went to meet ade and cherie today . crapping as usual . silent reading and stuff lo . was test . i donno wad to write lors . then mr toh continue his story cos he stop halfway last time . then was english . as per normal . took terance bag and hug it . very nice de lo . he scribble on my book ytd . thanks ! i understood wad he meant . i will try not to think too much de =) then did abit work . then was break . ate abit . but feeling tired . then was ss . about 20 mins were spent just to do smth . putting newspaper on the windows . jiahong , cs and joseph went to the stairs there but didnt seem to work . then paste in the class lo . miss chee we like living in squatter settlements . but we high class de . lols . slept .. first time . hais . guess my bone marrow work too hard lers . sorry .. then was physics .. mr junus asked wad happen .. lols . yeah ! i pass my physics test 9.5/15 .. so happy . kim and liling also too . mr junus gt praise the 3 of us . yeahyeah !! then was break again . didnt do much . was chemistry . guess mr tan asked what happened . cos he saw the newspaper . hahas . then he finished chapter 28 lers . had 10-20 mins . we didnt do anything much . then was bio .. mrs ram we are really like garang guni cos ytd she gt say before . then asked us to take out . then we finished chapter 15 quite fast lo . then she rearrange our seating arrangement again . my seat was changed to behind . sat between jiahong and kangshen . hahas . but it is just temporary . the seating arrangement so cute lo .. hahas . then went to library . did nth much . very sian . gt so much things to do for valentine's day . sians . their discussion i didnt even say anything lo . at there do nth . then i went off first and went to canteen to look for liling and kim . alvin at there also . i donno how to amaths . forget it den .. then we went to causeway . liling bought currypuff and went off . me and kimkim went to walk walk . want to buy watch de but then didnt buy . then went to popular . we 2 choose pens for quite long . hahas . then went back . took 962 . so concidence kim bro took the bus . hahas . chit-chat on the bus and alight . went home and left my bag . went to buy dinner . went home and watched tv and just finish watching hana kimi ep 12 . so nice lo .. now blogging lo . sians .. nth to do . smiles*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JESSLYN =)
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED FAITH :)

mrs ram is great . if the class trip to malaysia there is postponed to jun hls . we are going to have a bbq or smth at a sailing club or smth . but everything is nt confirm yet .
just changed my blog song . this song .. hais . gt too much memories . it's the show which get us started . the times and memories were once so beautiful . but it's worthless . things were kept away in a box . but these memories cant be kept away . sometimes i wonder . have i start anew ? i think i did .

hais .. why must u torture urself .. i understand how u feel and wad u are going through now . after a breakup is like tt de . but sometimes i do envy u for having the courage to hurt urself unlike me .. hais .. but since the 2 of u were not meant to be together .. then dont hurt urself lers . i know it is hard . but it is smth u have to go through .. dont hurt urself ler kor .. the 2 of u were togeher for less than a month ? we were once together . so i understand .. dont like tt . i hope to see the u who smiles and making me smile all the time .

♥ 9:41 PM

Monday, February 05, 2007

2nd Feb:
had 2.4km run today . didnt run well . hais . feeling down . chaoqun fell down . alex and jiahong acc her run .. they were great .. chaoqun .. must take care hor .. =) went to buy a red devil stuff . kim also bought it . we 2 gt the same . then everything as per normal lo . except feeling moody bahs . feeling kinda of down ..

3rd Feb:
today went to jesslyn party . went to meet kim first at my hse de bus-stop there . then went to cwp to meet up with chaoqun , wenhui and zixin .. so concidentally we met them at minitoons lo . hahas . then me and my gf - kim went to buy ice-cream eat . hahas . sorry bone marrow .. u worked hard . LOL . then we took mrt to yishun . 169 bus-ed to her hse . she lives near nicholas . we were the first to reach . me , chaoqun and zixin acc jesslyn back to her hse . then we help and give opinions and stuff . then went down . jess's mum help us book the ktv room from 6-10pm . then joanne and sherry came . we went there together as it was gonna be 6 soon . then me and zixin sing first .. then i was at the room the whole time . subsequently michelle , yihui , fooktak they all came . i didnt notice cos i was in the room with the mic with me most of the time . then i went out awhile to grab a bite and stayed in the room till 10 . thanks terance ! for lending me ur shoulder . it has been so long since i feel so relaxed and have an ease of mind lers .
so i lay on for awhile . thanks alot ! i was emo-ing .. u noe . hais . dont feel like talking much . so i chose to sing to express how i feel bahs . thanks . many ppl praise tt i sing quite well . hahas . thanks . but i dont think so bahs . then cut cake at about 10 . then me and faith went to chat . cos i emo lors . thanks faith ! u are great :) then we went to the bbq pit there . then many came along lors . went home at about 11 . bus-ed back to yishun and took mrt . acc faith walk till halfway and i part with her . great . i saw janson . and he msg just to ask i gt stead ? zz . then .. hais . dont feel like saying . stay away . pls . thanks . then bah and all used com . slept at 1+ . tired .

4th Feb:
nth special . housework and stuff . went to cwp at about 4.30pm . cos i wanna watch nanoha the anime show . so nice lors . went to buy sis present . then isaac they all there also .. then donno wad they trying to do . except being my bodyguards . lols . went home at about 7 . bought dinner for sis . and i went out to walk walk again . feeling down and moodless . watched project superstar lo . daren won . went to slp after tt .

5th Feb:
today nth much . lessons as per normal bahs . went for duty lo . michael call . they were waiting outside the school for me . hahas . sry . i gt cca . so sad . then kangshen tell me to join . i dont want to perform solo lehs .. please . hahas . i dont want to sing alone . need ask ppl ler . then helped kangshen to borrow books and i took bus with xinyi to cwp lo . went there walk . i bought many rubber bands . donno for wad lo . hahas . met up with changhong and junhao lo . then go look for kor they all . i saw mingkiat !! he no come and acknowledge me . he look so familiar to me lo . he changed so much . hahas . so he was tortured by me ? hahas . me chat with kor .. he feeling down . same as me bahs . asked him qns . then he say i am like innoncent and blur blur . i am nt . zz . reach home at 9+ reaching 10 . bath and eat cup noodles for dinner . talk to alex darling .. hahas . he is great . isaac miss me . hahas . i miss him too =) smiles*

i haven forget him completely yet . sry if i have break all of urs hearts . thanks mr toh . u helped me alot in my thinking of life .

♥ 11:01 PM